My Sweet Pea turns five

Five years ago today, I was just slightly "overdue". I was very excited for the birth of my third girl. I had two wonderful midwives and a doula and I had practiced my relaxation. This birth was going to be different.
With my two older girls, I had been induced. Never for good reasons. My second was a little early and ended up with jaundice. The pain was super crazy and I had an epidural with both of them. I was not satisfied with my birthing experiences and I wanted something different. I knew inside myself that giving birth was a natural experience that did not require the medical interventions that have become so routine today. This time was going to be different.
By the hand of God, I met my doula, Tracy. She and I were in a Thomas Jefferson Education course together and she was looking for a cello teacher. A friendship started instantly. I started teaching her and she, in turn, started teaching me. We met and discussed birth and I decided that, though I was really close to having a baby, I wanted to hire her to be my doula. What a great decision!
When contractions started on the morning of May 3, 2006, I was pretty excited. I listened to my birthing music and took a bath. After a little while, Tracy came. I was using my deep relaxation techniques that I had learned in my hypnobirthing book. Honestly, I did not feel any pain. It was gentle and steady. It was a wonderful, spiritual experience. My body and I were working together. I felt close to God. I felt close to Paige.
I lived just down the street from the hospital and I did not have any intention of going there any sooner than I needed to. Tracy saw the signs of transition labor even if I didn't feel it. She told us it was time.
We arrived at my midwives' office and she checked my cervix. I was dilated to a 9. I was so excited. So excited that when she put the Doppler on and everyone else heard Paige's sweet but very rapid and irregular heart beat, I didn't notice anything amiss.
Being in labor is a funny thing. In order to be one with your body and work with it, you need to go into a world of your own. That is what I did. It was me. I was aware of Jesse and Tracy. I was not aware of the arguments that arose between the midwife and the nurses about a C-section. I was not aware that there was really anything to worry about. My midwife saved me from a c-section. She told everyone that I could push this baby out before they could have me prepped for surgery. So, I pushed. I didn't feel ready to push, I was told to push and I did. That was difficult. The only words I remember are the words of Tracy. "You are a strong woman and you can push this baby out." I did.
Paige Jessica Owen was born midmorning on May 5. She was 8 pounds. She was pink and beautiful and she was life flighted to Salt Lake City within hours of her birth. Paige was born with a heart arrhythmia. Jesse went with her in the life flight plane. I was not able to hold her. I was not able to see her. I was not able to nurse her. But, the bonding Paige had with her Daddy is still evident in the relationship they have today. Jesse went down with her and he held her as soon as her heart was strong enough. He bathed her and he sang to her.
Tracy stayed with me. She rubbed my legs and we talked. She brought me lunch and she took care of me while I fretted over my new born daughter who was hundreds of miles away from me.
The next day, my mother-in-law drove me down to Salt Lake City where I was finally able to hold and nurse my baby. They let me stay on a cot in the doctor's nap room so I could be called when she was hungry in the night. Just a few days of observation, her heart got better all the time and we were able to take Paige home. She would need regular tests and after she turned two, they concluded that her heart was, though on the large side, healthy.
This birth changed everything for me. I started "wearing" my babies in a sling or a wrap. I slept with my babies until they were one and I nursed my babies until they were two (or older). I embraced homeschooling and I learned to love my children more deeply than I had. Just a few days ago, I overheard Tracy talking to a pregnant woman about birth. I heard her talking about Paige and her birth and I heard her say, "that birth changed everything for Jennifer. She became a gentler parent. She talked to her children differently. She was a different person after Paige's birth." Tracy even sewed me a pillow that says, "Birth Changes Things". That is what happened to me. Birth, natural childbirth, changed my life.
That is what I celebrate.